I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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