What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
