He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
