Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
where does the pee come out of this thing
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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