He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
