i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
