He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
