somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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