quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
