I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Enjoy the penises
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
