You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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