people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
