just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
