Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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