Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
