They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
