my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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