Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
