Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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