K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
