We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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