You're so nebulous sometimes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
