have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
