do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i've created a new STD.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
