Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
