Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
