Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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