Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
