Umm I'm too high to move.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
