How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
