I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
