Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My hand turned me down
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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