before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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