You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
