Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
