We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
