Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
