Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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