I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
