Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
