You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
