she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
