Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
