Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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