Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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