Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
