Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
