I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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