it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
