I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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