I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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