i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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